Assalamualaikum wbt
The day after tomorrow I'm going to face the end of year 4 exam, which is also the second last exam before the most extremely difficult exam; professional exam III (get it?) I don't know about the other students, but for me it will be an extremely difficult exam, whereby I must have faint the day before that. Oh I hope no. Despite having to study for this current exam, my mind suddenly started flashback the memories of my teenage-to-adult stage in life. I remember the first day I entered this medicine school when my parents sent me to UiTM Shah Alam campus and I ended that day with tears without tissues. At that time, it was very ‘sememeh’. Later I thought I was lucky to have my special friend aka bf here who can help me whenever I needed but never thought that I was actually topping up my sins with him by hanging out together without any purpose. It was back then until I realized life is not just about being a student, being a good daughter, getting a job, and getting married, but to live in this world which has its creator is to be a slave to the Almighty, Allah swt.
It was not just suddenly I realized that fact, of course something did happen to me during my third year in medical school. With the massive problems I have at that time, I was so lucky to have the sweetest and kindest friends in the world who really care to support me, advice me, and help me to get through. I learned a lot from them. Alhamdulillah, they benefited me a lot to prepare for hereafter. Though I was born in a quite strong religious family, I feel like it was my first time hearing the commandment of Allah swt:
“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me” 51:56
I don’t know, maybe I have heard that verse before, during my standard 2 quran class with an ustaz when he asked everybody in class “what is the purpose Allah created us in this world? I want everybody give at least a reason”. I answered “we were created so that He could see which one among us is good and which one is bad”. As a reply to all reasons given by students, the ustaz replied, “All your reasons are true”. That means my answer also true. So I grow up with believe in my mind that God wants to see which one among us is good and which one is bad, without really understand the meaning of ‘good’.
Until someone among my friends told me about this az-zhariyat verse, it became more clearer to me that the exact and more precise purpose of this life is to be the humble servant of Allah swt, meaning to worship Him in everything we do. Started with that aayat I learned more and more, little by little about al-Quran. Not just recite it as I always do, but I also started to learn the meanings inside. Praise to Allah, things that I did, I found tranquility inside. Now that I know Allah loves me a lot and the fact that He is the one who love me most, I feel guilty and ashamed to do things that He dislike. Same like we can’t afford to do things that our love one hates. Except that this is more than that, because Allah is our God and we are His servant.
Of course, a regular normal human can’t always be perfect. Our iman goes up and down, same goes with me. There are times I forget, I engrossed by mundane lives, but I do hope when my time to leave this world come, I’ll leave this world at a perfect time when my iman is at the peak. That is my du’aa. So, for those who read my blog, this is the story of my turning point in life. How about yours? Have you had one? If you have not, please ask yourself what is the purpose of your life in this world? Is it just to be a regular muslim who just perform ibadah without knowing the beautiful reason behind it, or to be a perfect muslim who really care about live hereafter and to use the opportunity of this world to get the permanent live in jannah? Ask yourself, ask your heart, and ask your iman. InsyaAllah, you will find your turning point in life. Pray for me to be remained in the pure faith, insyaAllah.
And don't forget to pray that i do well in this exam too. ;)
Allah loves you a lot. Salam.
